(no subject)
Sep. 14th, 2019 09:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zinze I'm wondering if there are things I should be doing besides trying to write these plays, which doesn't seem to get far, and I reread THE DEMON YOU KNOW today for an application where I had to identify 3 areas for improvement, and there are lots of areas for improvement, and if just feels like the whole 'a play is never finished, it's abandoned' this is too real, and it's really pretty futile? Even if you finish it and keep drafting and drafting, it's never going to be what you want it to be. And my experience with production hasn't been good. So what even is the goal? I guess to make something I'm proud of, or to have fun making something, or ideally both.
But I run into it a lot that like... if I'm not working, and I'm trying not to do Flying V work all the time either, when I don't have stuff I want to do out somewhere or with someone, when I'm not couponing or running around playing Pokemon Go... what do I do if not try to write? When I don't have jobs to apply to?
If I'm not feeling like writing is an important thing I do, what is? Am I just a person who doesn't have any personal motivation and putzes around when I'm not at work? But that never feels good to me, it's not satisfying, I feel unproductive and sad when I look back at a weekend like that. I want to feel like I do something. But maybe there's something that should be besides writing? Or maybe I should be writing some totally other kind of thing, like some kind of freelancey nonfiction something that could build a different type of resume?
I like working on things with someone, like the text adventure with Xavid, but I can't just do that when I want to if other people don't want to.
I guess I'm just feeling pretty aimless these days.
But I run into it a lot that like... if I'm not working, and I'm trying not to do Flying V work all the time either, when I don't have stuff I want to do out somewhere or with someone, when I'm not couponing or running around playing Pokemon Go... what do I do if not try to write? When I don't have jobs to apply to?
If I'm not feeling like writing is an important thing I do, what is? Am I just a person who doesn't have any personal motivation and putzes around when I'm not at work? But that never feels good to me, it's not satisfying, I feel unproductive and sad when I look back at a weekend like that. I want to feel like I do something. But maybe there's something that should be besides writing? Or maybe I should be writing some totally other kind of thing, like some kind of freelancey nonfiction something that could build a different type of resume?
I like working on things with someone, like the text adventure with Xavid, but I can't just do that when I want to if other people don't want to.
I guess I'm just feeling pretty aimless these days.
