(no subject)

 I feel like it's sort of more awkward to be that bridesmaid who doesn't wear makeup when most of the other bridesmaids also don't wear makeup in their real lives, and talk about how little they know about makeup and how little they have, but they're still doing it for the wedding. But I'm like, probably no one's gonna offer to do my makeup because they don't want me to feel guilty or anything, and obviously they're not confident in their makeup skills, and I both don't want to ask because people are rightly spending their time on themselves, and because I have kind of been put off people doing my makeup in a real situation by really awkward/bad/excessive makeup in playful situations, and I'm just generally not convinced that experimenting is a good idea when you have to go stand in front of everyone at someone's wedding whether it works out or not. (Christine did Raisa's makeup, but someone else was like hey, should we get Christine to help you with your makeup? Which is interesting, because that could feel awkward or condescending or guilt-inducing as much as with me, and I don't know if the difference is rooted in some assumption that having been socialized as a girl my whole life, my makeup ignorance is more my choice -- probably accurate -- or that Raisa "needs" makeup more to be perceived as a woman -- not accurate imho. It also could just be like, maybe expectations are different when it's your sister's wedding and your wife is officiating it and stuff.) But like, the more effort other people put into their appearances, the more I feel guilty I'm not? I feel like maybe I redirected that guilt into stress over things like standing in the right spot and getting every tiny thing right. Which, like, the fact is that the bride did not care about any of those things. And if she wanted me to wear makeup, she would have said. But I guess I'm also slightly confused by the fact that everyone else who doesn't wear makeup normally does so for a wedding (and like let's be real, their skin is good and they look good without it). Maybe I'm just behind my social groups and in a few years I'll be looking for events as excuses to figure out makeup things instead of looking for excuses to wear dresses I have/like. I guess I came out of the whole thing feeling kind of good about these dresses I have, but also aware of how bad I am at girl stuff and even understanding the social aspects of it, like I missed when my group was going upstairs to get ready in the same large bathroom and got ready in a small bathroom by myself, but also if I'd been up there it probably would have been awkward because I just put on my dress and put some gunk in my hair and painted my nails.

I'm probably just procrastinating but like this isn't fandomy enough for Tumblr or short enough for Twitter and sometimes it's just thoughts.

Edit- I just remembered, I think Raisa had some makeup she was maybe looking intimidated by or trying, and that is probably the difference. Like, maybe if I had been staring in confusion at some mascara or something, someone would have been like 'hey Christine, help Susanna with makeup.'  But I'm not convinced that I should have done that, for the aforementioned reasons.

(no subject)

 In honor of how much I enjoyed dancing the crap out of #1 on this list at a wedding while very aware of how lyrically inappropriate it was for the event, here are my top 3 songs you probably shouldn't play at a wedding (except play #1 anyway because it's fun and maybe to throw a bone to those cynical single people who have been a good sport).

Outkast, "Hey Ya"

We're About 9, "For One More"

Carly Simon, "That's The Way I Always Heard It Should Be"

Amanda Palmer, "Ampersand" (and I guess "The Bed Song," but it's kind of more just COMMUNICATE people.)

Joe Iconis, "The Guide to Success"


The opposite (?) of this playlist to come; songs that are optimistic about marriagey things like "forever" and love but without annoying me too much and maybe with a more complex approach.


The subplaylist:

The Spring Standards, "The Hush"
The Old '97s, "Designs on You"